Metromom. connecting women, creating change

My business is going through lots of growing pains right now, which means that I’m going through lots of growing pains right now. Our businesses mirror our lives, and vice versa.

If your business isn’t where you want it to be, then you’ve got to take a hard look at who you’re being and how you’re showing up. The answer always lies within.

Last week, after some intense masterminding, I chose to give myself permission to do nothing. I needed to decompress and internally process all that I’d absorbed. That’s a real challenge for a Type A do-er like me. I don’t sit still well, meditating doesn’t come easily, and I don’t sleep enough. My brain and body are always on the go.

During my self-imposed down time, I re-read my favorite parable The Go-Giver, by Bob Burg and John David Mann. I turn to this book when I want to regain clarity and truly focus on why I’m really in business. Yes, I want to make an income to support my family. Yes, I want to share my gifts with the world. Yes, I want to make a difference.

But my core reason, and my life’s purpose, is I want to serve a lot of people, and provide them with a lot of value. For all entrepreneurs, that’s the key question we must continually answer: How can I serve?

Answering that question always gets me back on track again. (With that in mind please feel free to share with me how I can serve you better.)

I love the change, fluidity and flexibility of entrepreneurship. There’s nothing quite like starting your own business to help you learn who you are and what’s important to you. The last six months have been special because I’ve been doing a lot more coaching with visionary entrepreneurs with a special emphasis on getting things done. So I’d like to share with you some of the lessons learned from their perspective and mine.  (also check out Part 2)

 

 Entrepreneur - Get It Done - Lessons - Part 1 [Metromom Podcast] [4:48m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

As I’m going through a thrilling time of professional growth, I’m going through the most difficult time personally, as I work to keep my marriage together. As most mom entrepreneurs can relate to there are so many things to juggle – work, kids, marriage, self, friendships and family. Keeping them all going is hard and right now my marriage is the piece that’s challenged.

Last Friday I attended Debbie Phillips Woman on Fire Tea Party in NYC. Debbie’s question to the 15 women present, was “What are you on fire about, or not?” I was second to the last to answer and surprisingly enough I ended up sharing some of the emotional tolls my entrepreneurial life has been having on my personal life, especially my marriage.

Things began changing when my husband lost his job. I fantasized that he’d want to jump on board with Metromom and run with certain parts of the business. BUT it’s my dream, not his. He’s supportive and helps out but not to the degree that I’d like. I’ve come to realize that’s part of the challenge of running a business – lots of ideas and visions for the future but you often go it alone.

As women we compartmentalize. But it’s taking a toll on me. I’m not sleeping well and I’m perpetually tired. (Good news is I’m eating well, since that’s often something to go for me). Yet at the same time, as I’m birthing new divisions of my business, my creativity is at a new height. I’m inspired and often spend my sleepless nights writing about my ideas, clarity, truth and vulnerability.

The truth is I’ve let my focus over these months be business and kids and I haven’t attended to my marriage. Date nights have been a thing of the past, and we’ve neglected finding moments in the day to connect about that which is important to us. We’ve become roommates, two ships passing in the night. I truly love him, who he is as a man and a father, but I can’t seem to connect with him.

There are limited hours in the day to connect which is really painful for me since at my core I’m a connector and value that above most things in my life. I’m seeing that it’s important for my husband and I to take the time, invest in ourselves, figure out how to reconnect, be the parents we want to be, instill the values we want in our children and have fun together.

I’ve always been a fighter when it comes to relationships. The friendships that I have, I treasure and I invest time into nurturing them. I’ve not been doing that with my husband. But I’m committed to changing that pattern. We had our first session with a new therapist with the goal of reconnecting and bringing fun back into our lives. Realistically, it’s not going to happen for us without a third party, and honestly it’s nice carving out the therapy time just for us.

Here I am turning 45 with a business I love, kids I love (but who challenge and exhaust me with their varying demands) and a marriage that needs some TLC.

Why am I sharing this? My dad has asked me my whole life, “Kim, why do you need to drop your pants for everyone?” The fact is this is who I’ve always been, someone who’s brutally honest. As I’ve stepped into having an internet-based business the challenge for me becomes how much of that truth do I let out? For me, I intuitively know the answer – that if I can share what I’m going through (as long as I’m working to improve it), I trust that others can benefit. I can’t be the only one going through this.

Please feel free to share your own struggles caring for your marriage, your kids and your business. FYI – If you’re a member of Metromom’s Get It Done Circle you can always ask questions and get great tips from our relationship expert Dr. PattyAnn.

In this week’s podcast I share about letting go of perfection as you move your business forward. Many of us start without a business plan, without crunching numbers, and even without much money. So if these “traditional” things aren’t necessary – what is? I share the importance of having a clear vision and doing the best you can with what you’ve got in the moment.

 

 What You Need to Move Your Business Forward [Metromom Podcast] [4:59m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Last week, I attended Harv Eker’s Enlightened Warrior Training Camp with my husband. (I won’t share the specifics of what we did because if you choose to attend I want to make sure you get as a pure experience like I did without too much knowledge of what’s to come). So while I won’t tell you HOW I learned what I learned, I will share some of WHAT I learned.

My best definition of a warrior is one who conquers oneself. We all have fear about stepping out into new places and doing new things, but the warrior acts in spite of the fear, and develops courage.

My three key learning areas were the following:

• Fear is not a bad thing, it only hurts you when you let it get in your way. We’re all scared of things that may come in the future, and things that are unknown to us. Realistically, fear is just the anticipation of pain in the future. Those that are successful or influence others probably have fear. The key is they have learned to act in spite of their fear. I had many opportunities to do this at camp. (sorry, I can’t share more specifics)
• Sometimes the best thing you can do to get it done is to get out or your own way. I know for myself, I’m working a project right now that includes four other people. For this project to move smoothly, I have to move out of the way, give them space to do their brilliance and then step back in gracefully when it’s my turn. Taking action often has a really masculine energy to it, but when you add in the fine art of grace it feels less like– P-U-S-H-I-N-G.
• For me it’s so important to surround myself with people on the same path. All my fellow warriors showed up wanting great personal development and growth. Not once during 5 days did I share what I do professionally with anyone nor did I ask others. While I love what I do, it was incredibly refreshing to get to know others, and them me, without my professional hat on. While I don’t know what many of the people do, I have a really great sense of who they are as people, and what’s more important than that?.

When I apply these “warrior” lessons I have so much more fun, attract goodness into my life and I get a lot more done. I’m really excited about implementing my learning in my upcoming GET IT DONE Circle and GET IT DONE 101 Class. More to come!

I want to share a little bit about what’s transpired over this last year since I launched Metromom. It’s just one year ago that I put 1,000 letters into the mailbox setting them free for the world to hear about my exciting new launch.

I remember that it was one year ago because it’s the day that we were leaving for Martha’s Vineyard., and we always leave the week before July 4^th. At 4:30 in the morning, my daughter and I stood before a mailbox and said a beautiful prayer as we set these 1,000 letters out into the universe. I was letting my friends and family know my vision, and I was beginning a thrilling journey..

It’s interesting to reflect on the words I used to describe a Metromom – a “driven, evolving woman” – because I see how my business has been evolving from the very beginning. There have been a few major shifts (or maybe leap is the better word) along the way I’d like to share with you…

Leap #1 – Opening my doors to a wider community

In that letter I sent out a year ago I explained how I’d created an online community – The Metromom Direct Sales Association – for all women in direct sales businesses to receive training, promote themselves, and connect with other like-minded women. But within a month, I was receiving queries from women who were not in direct sales. They were approaching me saying, “I’m a graphic designer.” “I’m a realtor.” “I’m a coach.” “I’m not in a direct sales business, but I really love what you’re doing. I’d love to be a part of what you’re doing. Would that be possible?”

Another thing happened at this same time. I received a letter from the Direct Selling Association of Washington, DC. They were not happy with the association name I’d chosen – The Metromom Direct Sales Association. They thought I was infringing on their name. I spoke with my lawyer who said, “Kim, we probably could fight it, but is it worth it?” that was an eye-opening moment for me. I thought, “You know what? I really would love to serve entrepreneurial women in general.”

I happily gave up the name of The Metromom Direct Sales Association and swapped it for The Metromom Entrepreneur’s Association. The time had come to open my doors to a wider community of women.

Leap #2 – Acknowledging my voice as a mom

When I first launched Metromom, I had a male coach who said, “Kim, I don’t really get it. Every time you talk about your company called Metromom, you talk about women, but you never use the word ‘mom’ in the description. Why are you not using the word ‘mom’? Your company is MetroMOM.” I had excuses but no good answer at the time.

I soon realized that I can’t look at the world any other way than as an entrepreneurial mom. I have three kids and everything that I do is based on how I want it to work for me as a woman juggling my business and my children. My experiences are now colored through the eyes of a mother’s lenses. I don’t know how to do it any differently and more importantly I realized that I don’t want to do it any differently.

The truth is I don’t exclude women who are not moms from joining Metromom, but the voice with which I speak is going to be that of one who is a true Metromom, a driven mother looking to balance her work and family on her own terms. Once I stepped into that place, all of a sudden my writing was more fun and more authentic. In fact I was creating A LOT of content which leads to another shift…

Leap #3 – Time to become THE resource for mom entrepreneurs

About six months after going live my web designer approached me and said, “Kim, you know what? I know we just designed this great site, but I think it needs to change again. You’ve got so much content and so much available to these women, but it’s kind of hard to find. It’s buried within the site. I’d really love to see you feature more people in your role as a connector and get all your great resource material out in front.”

I had honestly never envisioned that. Who would’ve thought of me as the content queen especially when writing isn’t easy for me? With the help of my collaborative copywriter, I really had become a huge resource for content on marketing, mindset and motherhood. We set about to re-launch the site creating a much different, interactive, content-rich site than it was back in July of 2008.

Leap #4 – The “Get It Done Girl” emerges

When I initially launched Metromom, part of the vision for me was to reflect how much I enjoy connecting with other women. I felt really comfortable in my role as a great “connector”. Through some pretty great coaching I experienced back in February, I was also able to acknowledge that I’m also an incredible “implementer”. I really do get things done quickly.

I emerged from that coaching session as the “Get It Done Girl”. I stepped into that and owned it. All of a sudden I realized my language started to shift. A good friend of mine said, “Kim, I feel like your DNA has shifted, your whole posture has changed.”

With this renewed sense of confidence I was able to tackle some monumental tasks. The first one was implementing my site redesign. I didn’t know how to execute it but I had great clarity about the experience I wanted my visitors to have and I pulled together brilliant people who knew how to implement my ideas.

I was simultaneously putting together the Metromom Online Success Telesummit that went live in May. That event was a great combination for me as connector plus implementer. I gathered together amazing experts to provide the content I’d learned that my community of Metromoms really wanted and needed to support them in their business growth.

With these huge leaps you’d think that I’d settle into a groove. Not a chance! I have some great new programs I’m rolling out shortly because of a whole other shift I’ve recently taken. I’ll share more in an upcoming blog…

I’ve been able to move my company authentically in the right direction and serve that entrepreneurial mom because she is me. She is so many other women that I know and love. It’s easy to think of her and make sure I’m doing my best to provide her with content, resources and programs that serves her in a way that works for her.

As I relax this week with my family on Martha’s Vineyard I can look forward to another great year! A big thank you to all of you that have supported me along the way!

There are times in your life when someone special shows up and you have that inner knowing feeling that they’re meant to be there for a bigger reason. That was exactly how I felt when I met Sandy Grason for the first time in Las Vegas a few weeks ago. As someone who picks up on other people’s energy, I felt a strong connection immediately. We were together as part of a group of entrepreneurial moms collaborating on something bigger than ourselves, and the spirit of abundance was incredibly prevalent in the room.

In sharing what she was working on, and the gifts that she could bring to our group, the one word that stood out for me was “empire”.  For some reason, the word empire has always intrigued me from a business perspective. Not in a Martha Stewart kind of way, but in a way that feels limitless, and feminine and full of choices and possibilities. (As a side note, when my NY lawyer father helped me to incorporate my company, he advised that if I planned on having an empire, (a very unusual word for him to use in describing my entrepreneurial pursuits) I should incorporate in Delaware. The word just felt right, and that’s what I did.)

As Sandy spoke more, I got the gist that she takes women through a fun process to create their empire. I definitely wanted to learn more, and I tuned into her artfully-created video entitled The Jerry Maguire Manifesto (which is a must-see). She asks the important question:

Why do you have to either do the work you love with your heart & soul and struggle with the money part or go so deeply into the marketing of your business that you feel like a used car salesman willing to do anything for a buck?

The answer is: You don’t. You can have the Coin and the Kwan (love). You CAN be recognized for your passion and your purpose. You can create an empire that works for you.

Before I conceived of Metromom, I was very clear that I love to connect with other women. This is a joyful experience for me, and I do it effortlessly. IMAGINE… if I could create a business where I get to connect great women to each other, provide them with lots of value, make a great income for my family AND give back in a really big way. In my first year of business, this was my vision and I moved forward on this path.

As I embark on year two, I realize, I’m being called forth to figure out my next step, and expand and deepen the work that I’m doing. One idea I feel compelled to finally share (even though I don’t  know how it will happen)  is that I am meant to  help 12 amazing women take their brilliance and passion, and get it out there in a bigger way so they can dramatically change people’s lives. (Who are these 12 women? I don’t know yet, but I trust they’ll show up perfectly, and imagining them brings up delightful visions for me of being in a candy store.)

The timing of my meeting Sandy is serendipity and synchronicity all rolled into one. With her new program, The Fabulous Formula, that I am just thrilled to begin, she will share (with me and a group of other amazing women) a new way of experiencing your business, of creating wealth, and of BEING. She will focus on getting clear about your biggest vision and going after it. And focusing on who you are when you’re at your greatest.

The other important question Sandy asked is “who’s coming with me?” I immediately raised my hand, signing on to participate in The Fabulous Formula with her. The question I offer to you is: would you like to join us? If this speaks to you, I’d love nothing more than for you to join me on this empire-building journey. Please visit her site to learn more. I’d also love to hear your comments about your own dreams for your own empire.

We watch our children and our husbands do it, but for us as moms it’s so hard to do “nothing”. It’s hard to let go of our to-do list and spend a weekend or even just a few hours really relaxing. You’d like to sit and read a novel, take a bubble bath or play an endless game of Monopoly with your 9-year old.

But… if you’re like me there’s always something you really SHOULD do. You’re already mentally gearing up for next week and thinking of ways to get ahead—maybe it’s catching up on laundry, getting a head start on your next newsletter or responding to last week’s emails.

 

 Mom’s Weekend Dilemma – Time to Relax or Time Get Ahead? [Metromom Podcast] [6:38m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Women entrepreneurs often have the best idea, great marketing strategies, and effective systems in place, but they still feel stuck. Does that sound familiar? You can’t get any momentum. If this is the case, limiting beliefs may be holding you back…

My definition of a limiting belief is something that you believe to be true about yourself (that really is NOT true) and it prevents you from moving forward as you’d like.

These limiting beliefs have been internalized, often times from childhood. You believe them to be as true as the sky is blue and the grass is green. That’s how you function in the world. It’s not until you challenge that belief and focus on a more conscious level that you can see it isn’t in fact true at all.

Let me share with you an example of a limiting belief that held me back for years. I am a big believer in collaboration…but that wasn’t always the case. When I was a little girl, I was constantly told how important it was that I be independent and self-sufficient. My father loved telling me all the great things I could do as an independent woman from travel to business adventures.

As great as many of his messages were, they ironically held me back. For many years, I was so focused on him being right, which meant I must be independent, and not let others in to provide support. I was a one-woman show, as if to be anything less would have been a disappointment. I even had an old boyfriend tell me he felt like I could live on a deserted island!

Now, as I’ve gotten older and wiser, I’ve been able to examine how this belief doesn’t serve me and let it go. That means I can now delegate, partner and reach out to others.

When you work on your personal growth you will undoubtedly see your business grow exponentially. I know for myself I have experienced this time and time again. Every single time I clear through some of my own issues, I surge forward. It’s as if the limiting belief was a noose around my neck holding me back.

Here are some limiting belief examples that can really affect women entrepreneurs. Have you ever found yourself thinking…?

• I don’t know enough.
• I can’t do this.
• Who would want what I have to offer?
• I can’t earn as much as I’d like.
• I’m not motivated enough.
• I’m not as good as the next person.
• I don’t really deserve to make money.

Identify your limiting beliefs.

I’ve found that the first step is tuning in to your unconscious mind and listening to what it’s telling you. For example, many of us struggle with the belief that we can’t earn money because we haven’t earned it in the past, that’s a limiting belief. The result of this belief is most likely you’re going to make it a reality by not earning money this time around either.

Many times we are unaware of our limiting beliefs. Gina Bell gave some great advice on identifying and overcoming limiting beliefs in her call at the Metromom Online Success Telesummit, “Not Sure You Can Succeed? Get a Believability Makeover!”

Gina shared that although we can’t always control the negative inner chatter, we can recognize it for what it is. She recommended writing or journaling as a great way to flush out the limiting beliefs that we might not realize exist in our own mind.

In an upcoming post I’ll share some great tips on shifting limiting beliefs into supportive beliefs. I also wanted to let you know how much I’ve been enjoying a great discussion about limiting beliefs in our Metromom forum (Connection Café). The Connection Café is available to members of the Metromom Community – if you’re not a member of Metromom’s community – please click here to join.

I did a lot of traveling earlier this year, which was taking a toll on me and my family. They were well-prepared to handle things without me for a few days, but it felt like each time I returned home and we reconnected, I was turning around again to leave. I promised myself that I’d stay put for awhile and I’ve really enjoyed this last month at home.

Then I was listening to the CD’s of Baeth Davis speaking at Ali Brown’s last workshop. I eagerly awaited carpooling time so I could listen to her stories. What I heard made me reevaluate my decision to stay home. I realized that I needed to attend Baeth’s Life Purpose Spiritual Summit on June 4th-6th.

Let me share some of my history with Baeth…

Baeth Davis came into my life in October 2006. During a hand analysis she shared my life purpose with me in and I knew at that moment, she would be my next coach. One of the key things she shared with me about my purpose is that when I have fun I can manifest all that I desire, and it is incredibly important that my life be oriented around being of service. The two points became a huge shift for me. “Fun” and “being of service” became the filters through which I made all my decisions.

At the time we met, I was working with Melaleuca (a direct sales wellness company) and I wasn’t having a lot of fun. I wanted to grow a business, but was dragging around all the wrong people. From my earlier experience with my first entrepreneurial company, Metromom Maternity, I knew that I was meant to do something bigger and serve a special kind of entrepreneurial mom (aka Metromom). Baeth suggested that I build my Melaleuca business around being of service to “Metromoms” and it worked – my business tripled!

I was enjoying myself but I felt there was a bigger way for me to have fun and be of service to Metromoms. Baeth and I agreed that for the time being I’d focus on growing my Melaleuca business and every time I had a “Metromom” idea, I’d put it in a “beautiful box”.

Then, in August of 2007, at the urging of my husband, I attended Baeth’s first Life Purpose Summit. I showed up there in two worlds – a bit of Melaleuca and a bit of Metromom. Through the summit I recognized my life purpose calling me more towards the Metromom world. To pursue that purpose, I chose to do an intensive 3-day coaching program with Baeth and two other coaches, Kendall Summerhawk and Kailash Sozzani.

I was so excited to be on track with my purpose. On the flight to my coaching program, I wrote in my journal:

I love to connect with other women. This is a joyful experience for me, and I do it effortlessly. IMAGINE… if I could create a business where I get to connect great women to each other, provide them with lots of value, make a great income for my family AND give back in a really big way.

Adrenaline poured through me as I wrote this—an inner knowing that I was on the right track. After three days with three unique and highly-gifted women in a collaborative coaching circle I was able to focus in on what I love to do, what I’m really good at and what can benefit others the most. With Baeth’s support, I went onto to create my Metromom community and website as it currently is.

When I learned of Baeth’s second summit, my first thought was not to consider it because I’d already attended once. After listening to her talk on the CD I had a sudden realization. I realized that I’m not in the same place as I was 18 months ago. I’m now fully in a Metromom place and my vision has evolved and changed drastically from my days as the Melaleuca representative.

While I’ve certainly stepped into my purpose in creating Metromom, I determined that I am ready for some fine-tuning. Now in this place in my business and my personal growth, what new insights may I receive? What new people will I meet and special connections may I form?

It’s very easy to have the “bright shiny object syndrome” and want to attend every event. I have learned to say “no” to many, not because they’re not wonderful but because they’re not right for me at the time. Now, it feels amazing to feel a complete “yes” about attending Baeth’s. I’ll certainly share more about my experience when I return next week. (If you’re going to be there, please make sure to find me and say hello, or send me a tweet.)