Metromom. connecting women, creating change

My business is going through lots of growing pains right now, which means that I’m going through lots of growing pains right now. Our businesses mirror our lives, and vice versa.

If your business isn’t where you want it to be, then you’ve got to take a hard look at who you’re being and how you’re showing up. The answer always lies within.

Last week, after some intense masterminding, I chose to give myself permission to do nothing. I needed to decompress and internally process all that I’d absorbed. That’s a real challenge for a Type A do-er like me. I don’t sit still well, meditating doesn’t come easily, and I don’t sleep enough. My brain and body are always on the go.

During my self-imposed down time, I re-read my favorite parable The Go-Giver, by Bob Burg and John David Mann. I turn to this book when I want to regain clarity and truly focus on why I’m really in business. Yes, I want to make an income to support my family. Yes, I want to share my gifts with the world. Yes, I want to make a difference.

But my core reason, and my life’s purpose, is I want to serve a lot of people, and provide them with a lot of value. For all entrepreneurs, that’s the key question we must continually answer: How can I serve?

Answering that question always gets me back on track again. (With that in mind please feel free to share with me how I can serve you better.)

I am honored to be participating in Gina Bell’s How Does She Do It? Tele-Series happening October 16th and 17th.

This thought-provoking interview series exposes the comparison trap as it relates to “success” stereotypes and draws attention to how our knee-jerk reaction to compare ourselves to others or to “model success” the wrong way sabotages authenticity and confidence.

The series also reveals the top five challenges that women in business online commonly face and directs the how does she do it question to these relevant topics with the intention of protecting your authenticity.

“How Does She Do It?” is a common question we wonder when success appears so effortless for others and we’re not getting the results we want. But, it’s when we look externally for validation and confirmation that our ideas have value that self-doubt can be triggered and we fall into the trap.

So, are you ready to join us in drawing a line in the sand?

Are you ready to break free from the cookie-cutter/copycat approach to modeling success so you can create success your way, authentically and with confidence?

I’m proud to be one of 16 successful women (such as Carla Young, Mary Pat Kavanaugh, Laura West, Shannon Cherry and Marie Forleo, to name a few) who are speaking up to reveal our own experiences with comparison. Our goal is to provide valuable insight, share lessons learned and inspire you to take YOUR next steps all from a caring and supportive approach that protects your authenticity.

The tele-series starts October 16th at 10 AM EST and you can listen to the interviews FREE when you register at http://bit.ly/1wpo0R.

As I’m going through a thrilling time of professional growth, I’m going through the most difficult time personally, as I work to keep my marriage together. As most mom entrepreneurs can relate to there are so many things to juggle – work, kids, marriage, self, friendships and family. Keeping them all going is hard and right now my marriage is the piece that’s challenged.

Last Friday I attended Debbie Phillips Woman on Fire Tea Party in NYC. Debbie’s question to the 15 women present, was “What are you on fire about, or not?” I was second to the last to answer and surprisingly enough I ended up sharing some of the emotional tolls my entrepreneurial life has been having on my personal life, especially my marriage.

Things began changing when my husband lost his job. I fantasized that he’d want to jump on board with Metromom and run with certain parts of the business. BUT it’s my dream, not his. He’s supportive and helps out but not to the degree that I’d like. I’ve come to realize that’s part of the challenge of running a business – lots of ideas and visions for the future but you often go it alone.

As women we compartmentalize. But it’s taking a toll on me. I’m not sleeping well and I’m perpetually tired. (Good news is I’m eating well, since that’s often something to go for me). Yet at the same time, as I’m birthing new divisions of my business, my creativity is at a new height. I’m inspired and often spend my sleepless nights writing about my ideas, clarity, truth and vulnerability.

The truth is I’ve let my focus over these months be business and kids and I haven’t attended to my marriage. Date nights have been a thing of the past, and we’ve neglected finding moments in the day to connect about that which is important to us. We’ve become roommates, two ships passing in the night. I truly love him, who he is as a man and a father, but I can’t seem to connect with him.

There are limited hours in the day to connect which is really painful for me since at my core I’m a connector and value that above most things in my life. I’m seeing that it’s important for my husband and I to take the time, invest in ourselves, figure out how to reconnect, be the parents we want to be, instill the values we want in our children and have fun together.

I’ve always been a fighter when it comes to relationships. The friendships that I have, I treasure and I invest time into nurturing them. I’ve not been doing that with my husband. But I’m committed to changing that pattern. We had our first session with a new therapist with the goal of reconnecting and bringing fun back into our lives. Realistically, it’s not going to happen for us without a third party, and honestly it’s nice carving out the therapy time just for us.

Here I am turning 45 with a business I love, kids I love (but who challenge and exhaust me with their varying demands) and a marriage that needs some TLC.

Why am I sharing this? My dad has asked me my whole life, “Kim, why do you need to drop your pants for everyone?” The fact is this is who I’ve always been, someone who’s brutally honest. As I’ve stepped into having an internet-based business the challenge for me becomes how much of that truth do I let out? For me, I intuitively know the answer – that if I can share what I’m going through (as long as I’m working to improve it), I trust that others can benefit. I can’t be the only one going through this.

Please feel free to share your own struggles caring for your marriage, your kids and your business. FYI – If you’re a member of Metromom’s Get It Done Circle you can always ask questions and get great tips from our relationship expert Dr. PattyAnn.

Based on my own money history, I am fascinated with money as a tool for personal growth. Let me tell you what led up to my decision to hold a Telesummit at the beginning of the year for motivated women entrepreneurs about all the confusing issues surrounding money.

Money has always been a highly charged subject for me.

Growing up my parents were on opposite sides of the money spectrum. My mom came from a depression-era home and savings and frugality were paramount. The message I received was, “If I spend money, I am frivolous.” My dad worked very hard to create what he had and he wanted to enjoy it, and share it with his daughters. He’d periodically sneak me money to buy something I wanted. The message I received was “I must hide my spending from my mother.”

Needless to say, these conflicting messages set the tone for my very confusing relationship with money, which as an adult, I’m still working through. I started out after college making $17,200 as an assistant buyer at Bergdorf Goodman, a very high-end department store in New York City. On that salary I could barely afford to live in NYC but I had to look the part of the well-dressed fashion girl. However, as the  daughter of a frivolous mother Bergdorf’s was NOT where we shopped. If I did now, was I going to disappoint my mother?

Soon after, at just 25, I moved onto the Gap where I experienced many things for the first time: a very generous income, stock options, a sign-on bonus, yearly bonuses, and very generous travel expenses. But, at 25, the questions I continually asked myself were, “Do I deserve this?”, and the age-old impostor question of “When will they figure out I don’t know what I’m doing and take it all away?”

Less than a decade later, I was let go from the fashion world after a fortunate down-sizing, and left with a gracious severance package and my Gap money to go it on my own. I started Metromom maternity, bought my first home, and had a generous cushion. But what I learned is that a cushion goes quickly. Did I subconsciously “need” to get rid of all the money I didn’t think I deserved back from my twenties?

Here I am today. I’m 44, I’ve got three delicious kids (who cost a lot), a growing (and exciting) business with more expense than revenue, lots of “smart” debt and a solid foundation for myself where I finally know my value in the world, trust my credibility and think I’m finally ready to receive.

I share this with you because I truly believe that my relationship with money is a mirror for my growth.

As I change my past stories, gain compassion for my parents and the messages they shared, believe in my deservability, and am open to receive, I am slowly healing my relationship with money, and giving myself the tools to provide different messages to my children.

Last spring I hosted my first Telesummit to support women in creating online success. It was geared to serving the woman who both wants a website and doesn’t know how to get started as well as the woman who does have one but hasn’t monetized it yet. It was a huge amount of work but for me as a connector and  an implementer I had found my calling.

For me a Telesummit is a way to expand my community, bring them valuable content, and enjoy the process of keeping my eyes and ears open so that I can connect with great people who have expertise that I can bring to my community. For a while now I knew that my next Telesummit would revolve around money. I even decided to call it the Prosperity Telesummit, but I wasn’t clear on the direction it would take…

Now I have greater clarity. After a personally challenging summer with lots of financial stress while my husband’s been out of work and my business takes flight, I realize there’s a lot about money that goes unspoken. In our world of internet business, I see there’s a façade about the reality of running your own business. This encompasses how much people are earning, to how they’re charging for their services (or not) to how much it costs to run their businesses. So, even if they’re making the revenue, are they keeping the profits?

At the upcoming Prosperity Summit, I want to pull back the veil on some of these issues. I want to get back in touch with what it means to be abundant and focus on the service and value you’re providing in the world. I want to bring great information to you about focusing on your mindset so you can charge what you’re worth, handle any marital stress that accompanies money woes and pass on healthy money messages to your children.

Please let me know if there are any particular topics surrounding money that you want to learn about.

My business girlfriend Laura West wrote a great article about creating more visibility and credibility to easily attract more clients my interacting authentically that I really want to share with you.

The real secret behind successful marketing is realizing that marketing is really about building relationships. As you promote yourself to potential clients you are really building their interest and their understanding of what you do and their trust in you in that you can help them with a solution to their problem.

Part of this relationship building experience is to increase your visibility so you get noticed and build your credibility, so that they view you as a specialist in a certain area. Many people call this being a “rock star” in your market. As a conscious entrepreneur I know that most of you are more modest and rock star makes you cringe. I like to call it creating “Celebrity with Integrity.” You are creating “celebrity exposure” in your small market and doing it with integrity and a real sense of connection.

Creating “Celebrity with Integrity” can be fun, and the great thing is that all your efforts build on one another. You are creating a tipping point where your attraction marketing actions build and attract in bigger and bigger measurements.

It can start out slowly and easily with a few small steps, such as sharing client stories and photos from a workshop you attended. The steps get bigger – as you gain confidence, clarity and embrace your creativity. You’ll start being featured in other people’s newsletters, ezines and blogs. Then the energy of your “visibility & credibility” strategies gain momentum and you start to gain leaps in your results. Soon you are posting pictures with “famous people” in your market and successful clients.

Initially as you start, the first people who notice are your current clients. They always want to know what you are up to since they are already working with you. They like to know that they are working with a successful person. The second group of people who notice are your colleagues. You’ll start receiving kudos, emails, posts of congratulations on Facebook and shining star messages.

Then you’ll notice that there is an immediate layer of people around you who are potential clients. You haven’t worked with them yet but they are noticing everything you do. They are paying attention. I call them the “flirts.” They’ll congratulate you on a speaking engagement or a recent award and you can tell that they are taking note.

What starts out as a step-by-step strategy to build your list and gain visibility can quickly start tipping into a big wave of results including:
•    Fans
•    Flirters or potential clients
•    Clients who want a small taste of what you have to offer (like a book or ezine)
•    Clients who are ready to invest

You’ll also start receiving invitations for more opportunities to promote yourself by participating in:
•    Products
•    Teleseminars
•    Events
•    Contributing articles
•    Contributing to collaborative books

It really is pretty fun – especially when it comes from your heart! Although many of us go through a period of frustration at the beginning. Something like, “I’m doing the marketing right, why isn’t it working?!” I know this question well as I was there a couple of years ago. I felt I was the poster child for perfect internet marketing. Now, you can see the wave of momentum by how busy my inbox is!

Marketing is a process, not a one time event. You don’t put it out there and it’s done. You are always tweaking your message. You are always getting clearer about your niche and your offering by listening to what works and what doesn’t work. Then tweak again. More – “Rinse and Repeat.” This means you keep marketing consistently.

What is your “Celebrity with Integrity” strategy for this week? What’s one photo, testimonial, or client story you could share on your blog, ezine or Facebook to let your potential clients know that you are up to big things?

This article was written by Laura Howard West. She is and award-winning online entrepreneur and president of The Center for Joyful Business. If you are ready to shift your marketing and mindset for more success with joy and ease, get your free report: Business Attraction Success Kit

“Web 2.0″ – the second generation of the web – has a definite advantage to the way we as women do business, since the focus is on communication, information sharing, and collaboration. So how can you make your web presence interactive? AND, how can you do so easily and authentically?

 

 Easy, Fun and Inexpensive Ways to Interact with Your Audience [Metromom Podcast] [6:02m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

One of the best parts of being in business for myself is getting to work with people that I love and who bring great amounts of joy and value into my life. Laura West, the founder of the Center for Joyful Business,  has become a very special friend and business supporter in my life. We like to call ourselves business girlfriends.

Over the past few weeks, we’ve led 3 different classes together, and had a great time in the process – both in the preparation and the actual interaction on the calls. (You can still check them out, if you’ve not already heard them).

• Taking Charge of Your Economy: 5 Steps on How to Use the Internet to Prosper and Profit (a preview call for my Telesummit last week).
• 5 Easy Attraction Marketing Tools to Build Strong Relationships and Attract Amazing Clients (that we discussed at the Telesummit) :
• 5 Most Powerful Attraction Marketing Secrets To Help You Embrace your Authentic Marketing Style (shared with my Gold Members )

I also want to share with you Laura’s first video in which she discusses one of her Joyful Business exercises – the “I Wonder” Game. She created this video for her own blog but I thought the information she shared was so great that I wanted to incorporate it into mine. (thanks Laura)

As well, Laura interviewed me for her Joyful Business Podcast series. You can visit her blog to listen.

I just finished recording my Wrap-Up call for the Metromom Online Success Telesummit where I shared my highlights. It’s been a fascinating two weeks as I interviewed 18 different internet marketing experts who shared tips on how to maximize your online presence.

I think what I found the most interesting was how the expertise of the different speakers weaved together. In the end I discovered consistent references to what it takes to be successful in today’s economy.

Let me share some of my highlights of the four online success principle I discovered:

1. You Need to be Authentic

One theme that kept coming up from was the importance of being authentic in your marketing. I heard it from Nancy Marmolejo as she talked about social networking, Michele PW as she shared copywriting tips, and Wendy Maynard as she discussed blogging. They all said basically the same thing – the key to being successful online is to be authentic and create relationships that are mutually beneficial. Laura West then really pulled this authenticity theme together when she spoke about “Attraction Marketing.”

2. Make Sure You Use Every Avenue to Connect

Jennifer Odear and Caleb Scoville really helped clarify how you can maximize your expertise by using all the different ways of communicating. Jennifer spoke about recycling your content and using it in your blog, articles, press releases, newsletters and more. Then Caleb shared how to take that very same content and use it in podcasts and YouTube videos.

What’s great is that once you have some content there are so many ways to get it out there. Alicia Forest gave great tips on using content to build your list. Amy Miyamoto showed how to tie your content into your social networking, Shannon Cherry shared publicity tips and Ty Downing shared easy-to-implement SEO ideas.

3. Moms Especially Need Foolproof Systems

Busy women juggling a business and a family need more then great ideas. They need help implementing proven systems that will get the money pouring in. Beth Schneider and Erin Blaskie gave fantastic tips on how to build a solid team and then create systems to keep things running smoothly. Jennifer Haubein shared how technology can help you set-up a website that helps you build relationships effortlessly. Debbye Cannon shared tips specific to moms on how to keep their family thriving as they build their business.

4. Get Your Mindset Prepared for Success

No amount of internet marketing strategies will help you achieve your goals if you’re stuck with a negative attitude or mindset. Victoria Colligan and Traci Long, from Ladies Who Launch, were truly inspirational as they shared how to take the next step in your business. Gina Bell shared how to identify and eliminate resistance to self-promotion and success.

The Metromom Online Success Telesummit is live (and free) for 2 days – May 1^st and 2^nd you can listen to any or all of the experts for free. Click here to learn more! Once you listen I’d love to hear your feedback so come back and post your comments. What were some of the highlights for you?

In preparation for the Metromom Online Success Telesummit on May 1^st and 2^nd, I’ve been very busy interviewing 18 internet marketing experts, and quite honestly I’m amazed by the quality of content they’re providing. What really struck me yesterday was the constant underlying theme that kept coming up from all of the experts – the importance of being authentic in your marketing.

I heard it from Nancy Marmolejo as she talked about social networking, Michele PW as she shared copywriting tips, and Wendy Maynard as she discussed blogging. They all said basically the same thing – the key to being successful online is to be authentic and create relationships that are mutually beneficial.

A mom entrepreneur that I find especially inspirational – because of her authenticity – is Amy Miyamoto. As a mother of 3-year old twins, Amy is (in my mind) the ultimate Metromom! She will also be speaking at the Telesummit on How to Leverage the Power of Social Media to Create a Community of Raving Fans and Still Have Time for Your Family and Yourself.

I love the way Amy is promoting her talk. She created the YouTube segment above to explain what she’ll be sharing.  What really appeals to me about video messages is that I find it to be a great medium to let your personality shine through. (FYI – Amy will share how she created this message really quickly.)

If doing business authentically and on your own terms is important to you, you don’t want to miss hearing from these experts. Visit this page to learn more about what they’ll be sharing. #mtmm09