Behind the Veil – a Sneak Peak into a Personal Metromom Truth
At the beginning of December, my husband lost his job, right before the holidays and right as my business was getting off the ground. He felt grief, stress, feelings of shame and embarrassment and fear. I felt great compassion, a desire to support, and strangely calm, believing and trusting we’d be okay.
It had definitely been his salary (and some savings) that have gotten us through the start-up phases of a business that fills my soul and that I know deep in my gut can have a huge impact on so many.
Fast forward to January and my resolve broke. Fear and doubt crept in. The more I felt the fear, the more fearful things showed up. The more I focused on my bills, the more they showed up. My focus turned from my big vision to the piles of bills, fear of spending, worry about providing for my kids and overall huge anxiety. I was sleeping (if you could call it that) 3 hours a night. I wasn’t present with my kids nor was I caring for myself properly or having much fun.
The final straw came a few weeks ago. I’d flown out to Arizona to meet with my mastermind group. I arrived at the car rental counter and learned that my license had expired. “Don’t worry miss, we’ve got a connection to a guy who handles high risk situations.” Within moments I was whisked away in an unmarked car to an off-site lot to pay 4 times the price of my original rate because I was so “high risk”.
When I got into the car, I called a good friend. Once she picked up the phone, I completely lost it. Weeks of fear just poured out.
After pulling myself together, I reached into my bag and pulled out my iPod and had the full audio from The Secret saved. (I don’t even recall putting it there.) Listening to the messages I typically live by (but clearly hadn’t been this month) I was reminded how I’d completely let my thoughts go in the wrong direction.
In that moment, I was reminded that it’s only me that can control my thoughts. In that car ride, I shifted.
I started focusing on what is going right, what I do have (which is so much) and what I am building. Has my husband gotten a job? No. But each day we focus on what we’re grateful for. I take charge of the thoughts I allow into my head and I forge ahead in building my dream and move a bit closer each day.
Tags: entrepreneur moms, Mindset, The Secret, women entrepreneurs, work at home moms
